支招托福作文 | 学术讨论范文（40）

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Question

Your professor is teaching a class on sociology. Write a post responding to the professor's question.
In your response, you should do the following.
Express and support your opinion.
Make a contribution to the discussion in your own words.
An effective response will contain at least 100 words.

Dr. Achebe
In our upcoming lesson, we will explore the evolution of public health and its impact on the well-being of individuals. Considering the significant progress we've made in healthcare and nutrition, as well as the ongoing challenges such as sedentary lifestyles and stress, I'd like you to reflect on the following question: Do you believe that people are generally healthier now than they were in the past? Why or why not?

Paul:
I believe that people are generally healthier today than they were in the past, and the advancements in medical care play a significant role in longer life expectancy. With the development of new drugs and treatments, we're able to combat illnesses that were once fatal, such as various forms of cancer and heart diseases.
 
Claire:
While it's true that we've made incredible strides in healthcare and nutrition, the lifestyle-related health issues we face today were less common in the past. It's not just about medical advancements; it's about how we live our lives day to day. The quality of life is being compromised by our poor eating and exercise habits. 

范文正文

Actually, I do not believe that people today are healthier than those in the past.

Paul’s perspective is valid to some extent, as modern individuals are less susceptible to infectious diseases such as smallpox and malaria, thanks to the development of vaccines and antibiotics.【原因状语从句】

Even when they do contract certain illnesses, they tend to recover more easily due to advanced treatment methods. However, today’s people may suffer from diseases that were rarely experienced by those in previous generations, including diabetes, dry eye syndrome, and cancer.

These conditions are often linked to today’s altered lifestyles, characterized by sedentary jobs, excessive use of electronic devices, and increased life expectancy. 【非谓语动词作定语】

Moreover, advancements in medical care do not necessarily enhance the health of individuals in their later years.

Although they may ultimately survive with their symptoms alleviated, they often endure significant pain as a result of the treatment process, which cannot be considered a sign of good health.

Therefore, while people today may be living longer lives, they are not necessarily healthier than previous generations.

写作思路和特色

这道题是2024年11月2日的托福学术讨论真题，也在2024年4月27日原题出现过。题目中，教授让学生讨论的问题是“你认为现在的人们比过去更健康吗？”两位学生分别给出了不同的观点。Paul认为现代人普遍比过去更健康，因为医疗进步延长了人们的预期寿命。人们现在能应对很多曾经致命的疾病。然而Claire不同意，她认为人们现在面临很多不良生活方式导致的疾病，因此不能认为现代人比过去的更健康。

本文同意Claire的观点。采取了“总论点+让步+反驳1+反驳2+总结”的结构。在提出总论点后，首先肯定了Paul的观点，认为现代人对某些传染病（天花、疟疾等）的易感性降低了，这是疫苗和抗生素的发展带来的。就算真的感染了某些疾病，现在先进的治疗方法也能让病人更容易康复。接着，文章给出了反驳的理由。首先是今天的人们也会患病，但得的往往是以前的人所罕见的疾病，例如糖尿病、干眼症、癌症。这往往与当今生活方式的改变有关，其特点分别是久坐不动、过度使用电子产品、预期寿命延长等。此外，反驳的第二个理由是，医疗保健的进步不一定能提高人类晚年的健康。许多老年人因病被推进重症监护室（ICU）或是接受多次手术来治病。虽然他们最终有可能存活下来，症状也会缓解，但他们往往还得忍受治疗所带来的巨大痛苦，而这样的生活仍然是不健康的。因此，虽然现在的人们可能活得更长，但并不一定比以前的人更健康。

面对这一话题，很多同学也会表示“现在的人没有比过去更健康”，但要真正写成文章，似乎又不是很好操作。尤其是一些疾病的名称也比较专业，需要我们在备考时就有积累。希望这篇文章能为考生们带来一些启发。

用词用语整理

susceptible adj. 易受影响的，易受伤害的
例句：
These plants are particularly susceptible to frost.
这些植物很容易受霜冻的影响。
Among particularly susceptible children, the disease can develop very fast.
在特别易感的儿童中，这种疾病的病情会发展得非常迅速。 

smallpox n. 天花
malaria n. 疟疾
dry eye syndrome n. 干眼症
一些其他常见病的名称：
肺炎 pneumonia
肺结核 tuberculosis (TB)
腹泻 diarrhea
流感 influenza / flu
麻疹 measles
湿疹 eczema
中风 stroke 

contract v. 患上，感染（疾病）
例句：
He contracted malaria while he was travelling.
他旅行时染上了疟疾。 

sedentary adj. 缺乏锻炼的，少活动的
例句：
My doctor says I should start playing sport because my lifestyle is too sedentary.
医生说，我应该进行些体育运动，因为我的生活方式太缺乏活动。 

【原因状语从句】
Paul’s perspective is valid to some extent, as modern individuals are less susceptible to infectious diseases such as smallpox and malaria, thanks to the development of vaccines and antibiotics. 
这句话的主干是“Paul’s perspective is valid”，而Paul的观点是“现在的人更健康”。为解释这一让步观点，后面用连词as引出原因状语从句“as modern individuals are less susceptible to infectious diseases such as smallpox and malaria”。那为什么现代人更不容易感染这些疾病呢？又进一步给出原因“thanks to the development of vaccines and antibiotics”。这句话体现出论述的层层深入，论述有逻辑性且比较具体。 

【非谓语动词作定语】
These conditions are often linked to today’s altered lifestyles, characterized by sedentary jobs, excessive use of electronic devices, and increased life expectancy.
这句话的主句提到现代人生病通常与生活方式的改变有关，之后用characterized过去分词作后置定语，引出具体的变化。这三方面变化分别是：久坐不动的工作、过度使用电子产品、预期寿命延长，分别对应前文提到的糖尿病、干眼症、癌症。句式比较简洁。