支招托福作文 | 新托福写作（66）

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Question
新托福写作 - practice test 1

题目
Your professor is teaching a class on education. Write a post responding to the professor's question. In your response, you should do the following:
-Express and support your opinion.
-Make a contribution to the discussion in your own words
An effective response will contain at least 100 words

Doctor
Volunteerism refers to the act of offering your time and service without financial compensation to benefit a community, organization, or cause. While many people volunteer mainly to help others, some institutions have mandatory volunteer programs. High schools are one example, where students may be required to complete a certain number of volunteer hours to graduate. What do you think? Should high school students be required to do volunteer work? Why or why not?

Student 1
Yes, I think high schools should require volunteer hours because it helps students build a sense of civic responsibility. Many teenagers don’t naturally think about helping others, and this requirement can introduce them to the idea that their time and effort can make a real difference in the lives of others.

Student 2
I don’t think volunteer hours should be required because many students already have limited free time. Some have part-time jobs or take care of younger siblings after school. Adding a mandatory volunteer requirement could create extra stress and make it harder for those students to balance their existing responsibilities. 

范文正文

I don’t think high school students should be made to do voluntary work. It is true that a person can learn many lessons from volunteering. Through experiences such as tutoring underprivileged children and visiting an elderly home, students may have an enhanced level of civic engagement. They tend to better understand the needs of different communities, become more connected to their homes and learn to appreciate their lives. However, such benefits are unlikely to occur if volunteering is made involuntary.【条件状语从句】 Some students do not believe they are doing anything important or worthwhile. Those half-hearted individuals are likely to do more harm than good. Organizers of volunteer programs may have to spend extra time correcting mistakes or dealing with unhelpful behaviors from uncommitted students. In my opinion, instead of making volunteering a go-to activity for graduation, schools can just encourage students to do it by offering extra credits. In this way, young people can still have an autonomy over the events they would like to be involved in, and gain the advantages of volunteering at the same time. 

写作思路和特色

本题是ETS官方今年发布的TOEFL full-length practice练习题套中的学术讨论题。题目中，教授询问两位学生，高中是否应该强制性要求学生完成一定量的志愿服务工作？一位学生认为，高中生应该完成一定时长的志愿服务，因为这有助于培养公民责任感，让学生了解到自己付出的时间和努力能帮助并影响他人的生活。另一位学生则提出不应该强制学生做志愿者。因为高中生已经很忙，强制他们完成志愿服务可能会增加他们的压力。

本文的立场是，志愿服务虽然对学生有好处，但不应该是强制的。文章采取“总论点+让步段+主体段+总结”的结构。在提出总论点后，先承认了高中生做志愿者的好处。例如，一些学生给贫困儿童辅导功课，也有一些学生慰问敬老院里的老年人。这些经历能提升学生参与社会生活的意识。学生会更容易理解不同社区的需求，增强与家庭的联系，并学会珍惜自己的生活。

然而，如果志愿服务变得“不自愿”，刚才提到的好处就不太可能发生。接下来，文章开始论述反驳观点。有些学生觉得志愿者活动的内容没有意义，因此也就不会认真努力地完成工作。志愿服务项目的组织者可能不得不额外花费时间来纠正这些学生在工作中出现的错误。最后，文章提出了一个可能的解决措施，即建议学校不要再将志愿服务作为一项毕业要求，而是通过提供额外学分的方式来鼓励学生参与其中。这样，年轻人仍能自主选择自己想要参与的活动，同时也能享受到志愿服务的种种益处。

在美国，“参与志愿服务”对高中生来说是一项重要任务，甚至是拿到高中毕业证的要求之一。而在国内，多数考生在生活中可能都接触过志愿者服务，有的同学自己也有做志愿者的经历。但对于这项活动的好处是什么、一些国家为什么将其作为必修课等问题，我们可能较少了解，希望今天这篇作文能给大家带来一些思路和启发。

用词用语整理

underprivileged adj. 贫困的，属于弱势群体的，底层的
例句：
Children from an underprivileged family background are statistically more likely to become involved in crime.
据统计，出身贫寒家庭的孩子更容易犯罪。

civic engagement n. 公民对社会事务的积极参与

involuntary adj. 非自愿的，不由自主的，无意识的
例句：
Involuntary servitude shall never exist in any part of the territory. 
任何地区都不得存在非自愿的奴役制度。

A sharp tap on the knee usually causes an involuntary movement of the lower leg.
突然轻轻敲一下膝盖，小腿通常会不由自主地动一下。

half-hearted adj. 不热情的，兴趣不大的
例句：
He made a half-hearted attempt to clear up the rubbish.
他不大情愿地去清扫垃圾。

uncommitted adj. 不受（政策、做法、团体等）约束的，未做承诺的

go-to adj. （为解决某个问题或做某件事情的）必找的（人）；（为找到某件物品或服务的）必去的（地方）
例句：
Maurice’s is one of the go-to bakeries in town.
Maurice糕点店是城里的糕点店之一。

autonomy n. [U] 自主权
例句：
Doctors should be given more autonomy over treatment plans.
医生在制定治疗方案方面应拥有更大的自主权。

【条件状语从句】
However, such benefits are unlikely to occur if volunteering is made involuntary. 这句话在文中起到过渡的作用。作者原意是想表达“志愿服务对学生有帮助，仅建立在学生有意愿去做的基础上”的意思。但这不容易直接翻译成地道的英文，因此改写成它的反面，即“如果学生是被迫的，那么上述好处将不会发生”。另外，“强制的”虽然也可以用“mandatory”来表达，但“involuntary”一词可以与前面的volunteering形成形式上的对比，形成反差。

In my opinion, instead of making volunteering a go-to activity for graduation, schools can just encourage students to do it by offering extra credits. 
这句话也在文中起到过渡作用。本句把上文的“强制学生做志愿服务”概括成“把志愿服务当作要想毕业，就必须打卡的活动”，然后引出下文提出的建议“学校通过给额外学分奖励来鼓励学生做志愿者”。提高文章前后两个部分的连贯性。