支招托福作文 | 学术讨论范文（48）

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Question
ETS样题第2题学术讨论范文

Your professor is teaching a class on education. Write a post responding to the professor’s question.
In your response, you should do the following.
• Express and support your opinion.
• Make a contribution to the discussion in your own words.
An effective response will contain at least 100 words.

Doctor Gupta
This week, I want you to discuss assessment criteria. Some schoolteachers give high grades (marks) only to those students who perform well on their homework assignments and tests. Other teachers, however, may give high grades to students who have worked very hard on their assignments but have not performed so well. Which approach do you think is better: Giving grades based only on performance, or grading students not just on performance but also on their effort?

Kelly

I think grades should be based on performance only. It’s a matter of fairness. I’d be really upset if another student got nearly the same grade that I did when I turned in work that was almost perfect and the other student’s work had incorrect answers or unclear ideas. It wouldn’t matter to me if they worked harder.

Paul

Sure, evaluation should mainly be based upon the student’s performance, but hard work should count for something. A student who works hard, even when the final grade isn’t the highest in the class, builds character, which will benefit the student later in life when they go to university or apply for a job.

范文正文

I think it is better for teachers to strike a balance between performance and effort when grading students. This is because learning is a long-term, continuous process, and grades should reflect not only academic results but also the motivation and consistent efforts that students invest in their studies.【表语从句+not only...but also...并列结构+定语从句】This approachprovides a more complete picture of their overall capabilities. For example, when a business teacher adopts a grading system that weighs performance at 60% and effort at 40%,【时间状语从句+定语从句】students are encouraged to actively participate in group discussions and classroom presentations to achieve higher marks. To be specific, in a group discussion on franchising, students are expected to devote their time and energy to analyzing the advantages and disadvantages of franchise rights, sharing their perspectives, and respecting the views of others. Likewise, when preparing for a class presentation on the SWOT analysis of successful franchise cases, such as McDonald’s or Starbucks, they may spend several days consulting relevant sources, designing clear slides, and practicing polished speeches. Although such tasks can be demanding,【让步状语从句】they allow teachers to better assess students’ critical thinking, teamwork spirit, and communication skills based on their involvement. In conclusion, while performance remains important,【让步状语从句】students’ efforts throughout the learning process deserve to be taken into account as part of their overall evaluation.

写作思路和特色

这道题是托福学术讨论写作ETS样题第2题。在这道个人偏好类题目中，教授提问：老师给学生高分时，是只根据（作业和考试）表现打分，还是既看表现也看学生的努力程度？Kelly认为老师应该只根据表现来打分，这样才公平；而Paul则认为老师评分时不仅要看学生的表现，还应该认可他们的努力。因为努力是一种好的品质，将来上大学或者找工作时会对他们很有帮助。

这篇文章采用了“个人观点+因果论证+举例论证+总结”的写作结构，主张在学生评分标准中，老师应该同时兼顾学习表现与努力程度。首先，文章认为，学习是一个长期且持续的过程，成绩不应该只反映作业和考试等学术成果，也应该体现学生在学习过程中所投入的学习动力与持续努力。因此，这种评分方式能更全面地展现学生的整体能力。接着，文章以商科课堂教学为例，具体说明如果老师将最终成绩中60%分配给作业和考试表现，40%分配给平时努力，学生将更积极地参与课堂讨论与展示。具体来说，在小组讨论特许经营时，学生会花时间分析加盟连锁的利弊，表达自己的观点并尊重他人意见；在准备如麦当劳或星巴克的SWOT分析展示时，也将花费数日收集资料、制作课件并练习演讲。虽然这些任务具有挑战性，却能帮助老师从学生的投入程度中评估其批判性思维、团队合作与沟通能力。最后，文章总结并强调，虽然作业和考试表现依然重要，但学生在学习过程中的持续努力同样值得纳入评分体系。

文章语言表达流畅、术语使用准确，如“critical thinking”, “SWOT analysis”等词汇增强了文章的专业性和说服力；结构清晰，先提出核心观点，再通过具体案例进行展开，最后重申主张，逻辑上由总到分、层层推进，例子紧扣论点，有效支撑了“学生努力应计入评分”的中心思想。

用词用语整理

【表语从句+not only...but also...并列结构+定语从句】
“This is because learning is a long-term, continuous process, and grades should reflect not only academic results but also the motivation and consistent efforts that students invest in their studies.” 作为文章的因果论证，这句话在文中起到承上启下的作用，既对前一句“老师应在表现与努力之间取得平衡”的观点进行了逻辑解释，又为后文通过具体案例展开论证奠定了理论基础。其中，表语从句用于引出原因，并列结构用于强调两个重点，定语从句则用于具象化“学生努力”，三种结构有机结合，既增强了句子的逻辑层次，也有力支撑了文章关于“老师评分应兼顾表现与努力”的核心论点。 

【时间状语从句+定语从句】
“For example, when a business teacher adopts a grading system that weighs performance at 60% and effort at 40%, students are encouraged to actively participate in group discussions and classroom presentations to achieve higher marks.” 这句话通过具体设定“60%表现+40%努力”的评分比例，引出后文例子的两个学习场景，起到引入论证细节、将抽象观点具体化的背景铺垫作用。其中，时间状语从句交代了行为发生的时间背景，定语从句修饰限定了评分制度的内容，两者结合不仅使逻辑更具条理，也为后文细节内容做铺垫，强化了文章论证的说服力。 

strike a balance（达到平衡）：表示在两个对立的方面之间取得平衡，找到折中的办法。strike a balance后面通常接between A and B，表示在A和B之间取得平衡。在文章中作为观点句的核心表达，传达文章主张在评分中兼顾表现和努力的立场。
例句：
It’s important to strike a balance between work and relaxation.
在工作和放松之间取得平衡是很重要的。 

consistent（一贯的，始终如一的）：形容词，用来修饰人的行为、态度、努力、表现等名词，表示这些东西一直没有变，有规律且不反复，比如在文章中用来修饰efforts，强调学生在学习过程中持续不懈的投入，突出了努力不是偶发行为，而是评价中应该被重视的稳定品质，有力支撑了文章论点的合理性。
例句：
Despite facing many challenges, she maintained a consistent attitude toward her goals and never gave up.
尽管面对许多挑战，她对目标始终保持一贯的态度，从未放弃。 

provides a complete picture of（全面了解……的情况）：常用表达结构，通常用来说明某件事或某个情况被充分描述、呈现得很清楚和详细，比如在写报告、分析问题、介绍背景时使用。在文章中强调将表现与努力结合评估能更全面地反映学生的整体能力，突出文章主张的评分方式在公平性与准确性上的优势。
例句：
This report provides a complete picture of the company’s financial status.
这份报告全面呈现了这家公司的财务状况。 

weighs（给…...多少配重）：weigh除了称……的重量或者有……重，还常用来表示对不同部分赋予不同的重要程度或权重，也就是在总体评价或决定中占据多少比重，比如在文章中用于描述评分标准中各部分所占的比重，具体量化了表现与努力的分配比例。
例句：
In deciding the best candidate, experience weighs more than age.
在决定候选人时，经验比年龄更有分量（更重要）。 

franchising（特许经营，加盟连锁）：具体话题词汇，指特许经营或加盟连锁的商业模式。它是一种授权方式，允许个人或公司（加盟商）使用已有品牌、经营模式和支持体系，进行商品或服务的销售，同时支付一定费用给品牌拥有者（特许人）。在文章中提供了真实且专业的讨论背景，使文章论证更具说服力。
例句：
Many fast-food chains grow rapidly by franchising their brand to independent operators.
许多快餐连锁店通过将品牌授权给独立经营者进行特许经营，从而实现快速扩张。
 
devote...to...（致力，投入）：常用短语，意思是把……奉献给，把……投入到某事中。需要特别注意的是，这里的to是一个介词，后面必须接名词或动名词，表示投入或奉献的对象。在文章中用来强调学生投入大量时间和精力在小组讨论任务，将努力这个抽象名词进行具象化处理，这也是同学们在学术讨论写作中拓展例证细节内容的实用技巧之一。
例句：
He devoted all his energy to finishing the project on time.
他把所有的精力都投入到按时完成项目上。 

consulting（查阅，咨询）：指出于不确定或需要帮助的状态，主动向某个权威的人或可靠的信息来源寻求专业建议或准确信息，以便做出决定或解决问题，例如在文章中学生为了准备案例展示而积极查阅资料，这里同样通过将努力转化为具体的实义动词展开例证，体现了学习过程中的主动探索和认真态度，进一步有效支撑了文章观点。
例句：
You should consult your doctor before taking this medicine.
在服用这种药之前，你应该咨询医生。 

polished（表达精炼的，技巧娴熟的）：polished除了用于描述家具、鞋子、金属等表面被擦亮后光滑的、有光泽的状态，还可以用其比喻义来形容一个人的说话、写作或表演非常成熟、专业、有条理，没有粗糙感或低级错误。在文章中用来形容学生演讲的熟练与精炼，突出他们通过不断努力提升表达质量，进一步支持了努力应该纳入评分的论点。
例句：
The essay was well-organized and polished, showing the writer’s strong command of language.
这篇文章结构清晰、表达成熟而精炼，展现了作者很强的语言能力。 

demanding（要求高的，费力的）：形容词，当形容工作、任务或职业时，表示这项工作或任务很辛苦、要求很高、挑战大，需要付出大量的体力或脑力；当形容人时，表示这个人总是要求别人做得非常完美，不容易被取悦。在文章中强调了学习任务的挑战性和难度。
例句：
This job is physically and emotionally demanding, but it’s also very rewarding.
这份工作在体力上和情感上都很辛苦，但也非常有成就感。 

assess（评价，评定）：指对某人或某事进行判断或估价，常用于学业表现、风险、价值等方面。在文章中用于表达老师对学生综合能力的评价过程，体现评分不仅看结果，更重视多方面素质的考察，强化了文章倡导全面评价的观点。
例句：
Before making a decision, we need to carefully assess the risks involved.
在做决定之前，我们需要仔细评估所涉及的风险。